(this bio is in the POV of a slice of pizza, and this is supposed to be my diary)
Dear diary, Did you know that I was once just flour? That was a long time ago, maybe like, 2 hours or so. So some dude molded me, put on my toppings and shoved me into a really hot room. That, apparently, is how I was born. COOL!
Dear diary, The same guy from earlier today shoved me this time into a super freezing room and left me there. Then he took me out and gave me to a really fat little girl. She took me to her disgusting home and shoved me into another freezing room.
Dear diary, This is awful!! I was nearly freezing to death and then a HUGE man took me out and BIT ME!!! It bit off my whole body, but left the "crust" . Inside his bad smelling mouth there were these gigantic white things that molded me into a paste. Then I went down a long slide and landed in a pink, soft place full of other foods. I saw a burger, a hot dog, steak, a weird fuzzy liquid, and something green. It all smelled awful. GET ME OUTTA HERE!!
Dear diary, So after a couple of days of just lying around, an invisible force pushed me into yet another slide. By then I had turned hard and brown, and I landed in a large bowl-thingy full of water. I heard a FLUSH and I was suddenly drowning. Right before I passed out, BAM I hit concrete. I have been in that tube for a long time now, and the smell just keeps getting worse and worse!
Dear diary, Thank God! I was flushed into a HUGE body of water and now I am just floating, enjoying the sky. I have turned back into a weird paste, so all is well.
Hope you liked it! I didn't really know how to end it so....
It was a normal day at Target, my home. I was watching customers buying jump ropes, hula-hoops, and and even my good friend Billy the Bouncy Ball. Little did I know my whole life would change.
A giant hand yanked me out of my shelf and stuffed me in a big bag. I was squished betweeen a water gun and a basketball. "Help!" I cried, but nobody heard me. I was put on a black magical moving machine and my trusty bar code got scanned by an evil laser beam. I was carried to a mansion, through a collasal passageway, and onto a counter. Somebody finally yanked me out of the bag and threw me on the ground. Ouch! I had no idea about the real pain that awaited me.
Somebody started jumping up and down on me. I screamed and shouted in excruciating pain, but nobody heard me. They continued to jump on me for a full minute. Finally, the human fell off me and put me back in the bag. To this day, my human has been jumping on me whenever she can. I do not know when this torture will ever cease but until then, I will have to grin and bear it.
have u ever used a purple monkey dishwasher? im sure u have. inside da purple monkey diswasher is a purple monkey in a bannana suit that flings poo. but dont stop reading now, it gets better. all u have to do is load ur dishes then throw a soild rock at the monkeys head and shut the dishwasher door as soon as possibe berfore the monkey jumps up and attacks your face and completely destroys ur house. the monkey will then fing poo and distroy your dishes. once that happens the monkey will eat back up the poo along with the remaining dust of the dishes. once you finish that step u will have to wait 5 weeks and once your purple monkey poops out your dishes they will be clean and smashed into peices. so buy the purple monkey dishwasher now for $999,999,999,9999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 dollars
Wins no prizes
ReplyDeleteI'm to lazy to type a whole biograph of something!
ReplyDelete(this bio is in the POV of a slice of pizza, and this is supposed to be my diary)
ReplyDeleteDear diary,
Did you know that I was once just flour? That was a long time ago, maybe like, 2 hours or so. So some dude molded me, put on my toppings and shoved me into a really hot room. That, apparently, is how I was born. COOL!
Dear diary,
The same guy from earlier today shoved me this time into a super freezing room and left me there. Then he took me out and gave me to a really fat little girl. She took me to her disgusting home and shoved me into another freezing room.
Dear diary,
This is awful!! I was nearly freezing to death and then a HUGE man took me out and BIT ME!!! It bit off my whole body, but left the "crust" . Inside his bad smelling mouth there were these gigantic white things that molded me into a paste. Then I went down a long slide and landed in a pink, soft place full of other foods. I saw a burger, a hot dog, steak, a weird fuzzy liquid, and something green. It all smelled awful. GET ME OUTTA HERE!!
Dear diary,
So after a couple of days of just lying around, an invisible force pushed me into yet another slide. By then I had turned hard and brown, and I landed in a large bowl-thingy full of water. I heard a FLUSH and I was suddenly drowning. Right before I passed out, BAM I hit concrete. I have been in that tube for a long time now, and the smell just keeps getting worse and worse!
Dear diary,
Thank God! I was flushed into a HUGE body of water and now I am just floating, enjoying the sky. I have turned back into a weird paste, so all is well.
Hope you liked it! I didn't really know how to end it so....
Wow Adriana, im so proud of you! You typed that whole thing an didnt put :) or :P! Now thats an accomplishment!!!
ReplyDeleteYa, I know :P I'm so proud of myself right now!! *flips hair*
DeleteThis is a autobiography about a pogo stick.
ReplyDeleteIt was a normal day at Target, my home. I was watching customers buying jump ropes, hula-hoops, and and even my good friend Billy the Bouncy Ball. Little did I know my whole life would change.
A giant hand yanked me out of my shelf and stuffed me in a big bag. I was squished betweeen a water gun and a basketball. "Help!" I cried, but nobody heard me. I was put on a black magical moving machine and my trusty bar code got scanned by an evil laser beam. I was carried to a mansion, through a collasal passageway, and onto a counter. Somebody finally yanked me out of the bag and threw me on the ground. Ouch! I had no idea about the real pain that awaited me.
Somebody started jumping up and down on me. I screamed and shouted in excruciating pain, but nobody heard me. They continued to jump on me for a full minute. Finally, the human fell off me and put me back in the bag. To this day, my human has been jumping on me whenever she can. I do not know when this torture will ever cease but until then, I will have to grin and bear it.
WHO WON???????!!!!!!
ReplyDeletepretty raindom, but not as raindom as this
ReplyDeletehave u ever used a purple monkey dishwasher? im sure u have. inside da purple monkey diswasher is a purple monkey in a bannana suit that flings poo. but dont stop reading now, it gets better. all u have to do is load ur dishes then throw a soild rock at the monkeys head and shut the dishwasher door as soon as possibe berfore the monkey jumps up and attacks your face and completely destroys ur house. the monkey will then fing poo and distroy your dishes. once that happens the monkey will eat back up the poo along with the remaining dust of the dishes. once you finish that step u will have to wait 5 weeks and once your purple monkey poops out your dishes they will be clean and smashed into peices. so buy the purple monkey dishwasher now for $999,999,999,9999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 dollars
Ya that looks like the coolest dishwasher ever! And I can totally afford it! YES!!
DeleteI'm going to get the purple monkey dishwasher!
ReplyDelete